a lifted pixel

I get one thing going right and two things fall apart. Work is going well, but I haven’t showered in a week and haven’t taken my meds regularly. I’m meeting new people, but my relationships with my current friends are faltering and I don’t know how to keep certain details to myself to save others from jealousy. I don’t know what else is going right, but my space is a disaster and I have $16 in my bank account with more than one bill due this week. I should get paid again Thursday or Friday, but it will hardly be enough to cover my bills and buy groceries and gas and whatever else. I don’t know what to do.

So, I took a few melatonins and imma sleep and not think about it…

There is nothing like a bong hit to clear your mind from whatever distraction was going to lead you to thinking negatively about yourself…

and then when you’re finally done coughing, you look back up and continue from wherever you left off.  2 minutes, done, back to work.

Optimally, I would not lose concentration to begin with.  Now, for any reason that would fit inside this explanation, my concentration is shit.  I have ADD… maybe ADHD, I don’t really know.  I’ve never gotten a straight answer out of any of my doctors.  Until I can learn to deal with my feelings and impulses on my own, I take medication.

I would do anything to have a prescription for weed instead of adderall. :/

mr-deerskinmoccasins:

igohardinovertime:

firstplacestar:

gumbyxx:

them-titties:

them-cock?

cock-titties? lol

cockxx?

gumbycock? lol

firstplacecock?

firstcockstar?

igohardincock

igocockinovertime

icockhardinovertime

cockgohardinovertime

idk, it all sounds pretty homo to me

mr-deercockmoccasins

mr-cockskinmoccasins

mr-deerskincock

cock-deerskinmoccasins

:/

liftedcock

i win

had a dream about a friend i have a bit of a crush on, but there’s no way in hell he’d give me the time of day.  he was trying on teeshirts at hot topic and i was watching (actually, covering my face until he changed, then commenting on the shirt).  he didn’t buy any, but did pick up some little something (my mind says it was a felted woody woodpecker doll or something) from clearance, and i didn’t get anything because the selection was terrible and half of the walls had nothing on them.

i also had a dream about glitch, but it wasn’t glitch at all.  i also had a pumpkin item that spoke to me in real time and could wink and it was very cute.  i was asking it if there was a staffer running it, but then everyone broke out in ‘we are the champions’ and there were thousands of people singing along.  when we finished, we all flipped out and celebrated like it was some big accomplishment to get that many people to sing we are the champions at the same time.

there were some other things, but i don’t know how to describe it, so i won’t.

Not really tired, but since I work in 12 hours I guess I’ll go to sleep.

Grapefruit juice

Cranberry juice

(I prefer these to be 100% juice unless I’m too poor for that)

Diet Coke

Kraft Mac and Cheese

2% milk

Salted butter

Margarine

Rabbit of Approval premium mac n cheese

Just add water and microwave azn noodle bowls

pizza hot pockets

buffalo style chicken nuggets

Frozen mac n cheese (I like Michelena’s Wheels and Cheese and Boston Market’s mac n cheese)

wheat bread

salt and pepper chips

sandwich peperoni

90 second instant rice in various flavors (especially the cheese flavor)

Instant potatoes

bananas

Lucky Charms

Some chocolate cereal if Count Chocula is not in season

Campbell’s Chunky baked potato soup

i got distracted making my list so i’m done

5am

i’m staring at this television i use for a monitor and rocking front to back

i’d like to pick up my rabbit but he’ll have none of that

maybe i’ll go have another diet coke

maybe in a glass with ice this time

i wish i had more weed, i don’t feel bad enough to smoke what i have left yet

maybe i can pick up a 20 bag to hold me over till next pay check

just me and my bunny

doctorpicasso:

hi welcome to my butt blog! feel free to browse, but try not to carouse! ho ho ho

I don’t, sorry. :[

I’m just going to keep hiding from life.

I’m not ready to come out yet.

I like the Tumblr mobile app better than the website.

99maxrepels:

The only game I ever traded in was mega man anniversary collection

Two years after I traded it in I had an itch to play it and it just was n ot th e r e

I was a broken shell of a human being for at least 3 weeks following the incident

The only piece of gaming equipment I ever traded in (EVER!!) was my original white Gameboy Advanced.  I even wrote my name inside it.  I traded it to get the NES version of the Gameboy Advanced SP.  I love that SP, but I have always felt bad about it. :[

and i have no idea how / am afraid to ask

I’m glad to see everyone is getting this crazy tumblr virus that’s spreading that fake starbucks link.

People, stop being stupid.

feel better jess. no fuck that, just feel something

That’s a good way to put it.  I feel nothing.  Overnights might end up being tougher than I thought, but it’s only been a week and I’ve only worked 2 shifts.

Granted, I feel less bad about being alone in the middle of the night because obviously everyone is asleep.  That, and I can be high while I’m awake because it’s not like I’m going to be leaving the house for anything.

Can’t wait to make more money and have more weed and more things because that’s what equals success apparently.  Doesn’t matter if you’re just a little down in the dumps or full on disabled.  Unless you’ve been injured in a war or something, the only thing people judge you on is what you do for a living.

k done rambling.  thanks for replying to my posts. :]

there is absolutely nothing i feel like doing, not even sleep or smoke

fuck depression